How to cope with a preschooler with a behavioral problem?

There is no manual given to parents on how to raise children. Raising children is a difficult task, but we prepare ourselves the best we can. As parents mentally prepare ourselves for the behaviors that pre-teens, adolescents, and even young adults bring. We think about the mood swings, back talk, emotional outbursts, and attitudes. Parents would never imagine an early learner to behave that way. We would never imagine a small child behaving in such an outrageous manner. What would you say if I said, “It all starts when they are young.” When it comes to differentiating between normal and abnormal behavior problems, it’s important to know a bit about child development. What’s normal for a preschooler, isn’t normal for a teenager. Early learners exhibit these behaviors earlier during their preschool years. The key to correcting these behaviors is to start early. Those same behaviors cause influxes in academic progress. Children with behavioral issues tend to have harder time with their academic/studies. 

If you have noticed your child becoming a slight bit more emotional or aggressive at home or in school, this is a sign there is a problem. Children whom have behavioral issues tend not to follow rules, directions or expectations. Redirecting them will take more time than most. You will see that they seem to turn to aggression when not satisfied by an outcome. Depending on the age, they maybe more negative in their vocabulary. They many ignore and dismiss requests by others. Children exhibit behaviors that they don’t understand with anger. This is why it is vital to tackle these behaviors early. If redirection and correction are not enforced effectively the behaviors may evolve into more complex ones. These are more difficult to correct and may even require additional help and services.  

For parents at their wits end, behavioral therapy techniques can provide a roadmap to calmer, more consistent ways to manage problem behaviors problems and offers a chance to help children develop gain the developmental skills they need to regulate their own behaviors. 

According to Kids Health, behavior problems in children often stem from frustration or anger that children cannot resolve on their own. Behavior problems can be solved with patience and understanding as it takes time for children to learn how to deal with situations that lead to bad behavior. There are many activities that parents can use to motivate children to think about their bad behavior and choose alternate ways of dealing with situations that cause such behavior. Misbehavior that interferes with your child’s education may indicate an underlying behavior disorder. Getting sent out of class, getting into fights at recess, and difficulty staying on task are all potential warning signs. An example of poorly defined behavior is “acting up,” or “being good.” A well-defined behavior would be running around the room (bad) or starting homework on time (good).  

At the first sign of abnormal behavior there are a few things you can do. Begin with understanding what your child’s needs. Examine their physical needs and their emotional needs. Venting anger is an important way to help children learn more effective ways to work through their anger, instead of turning to aggression. Parents and family members can help children with creating physically safe ways to get their anger out. Physical activities like gymnastics, exercise, dancing, or sports are all physical activities that can help deter bad behavior.  Health professionals recommend to schedule time to be active for both children and family as a way of helping with ongoing bad behavior. Sports like karate, wrestling and even track are excellent activities to burn off energy and keep stress down.  

When you meet these needs in positive ways you are redirecting the negative behavior. This prevents future occurrences from happening. Begin to focus on the four basic triggers of negativity. These triggers: Freedom, Fun/Excitement, Acceptance, & Empowerment. A trigger is a thought about a situation that leads to an inappropriate response to that situation. A child having behavioral problems within these triggers has strong feelings about one or more of them.

   Giving your child positive reinforcement for being good helps maintain the ongoing good behavior. Positive attention enhances the quality of the relationship, improves self-esteem, and feels good for everyone involved. Positive attention to brave behavior can also help attenuate anxiety, and help kids become more receptive to instructions and limit-setting. 

A great way to prevent behavior problems is to strategize ways with your child’s teachers. Just having to sit still during class is a big challenge for some children. The teacher may be open to letting your child move around or do other activities. Teachers can set up conferences that include you, your child, and an advocate. Collectively you can create a plan about how to make school go well for your child. Such plans are called behavioral plans enforced by the teacher and the school. 

In conclusion, parents must maintain a clear and healthy communication with their children. Behavioral problems/issues can be managed and controlled. Establish a level of consequences and awards. Please do not confuse consequences with punishment. Not all consequences are created equal. Some are an excellent way to create structure and help kids understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, while others have the potential to do more harm than good. As a parent, one can consistently use consequences, that will make all the difference. 



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Have you noticed unusual behavior in your child?

Have you notice an increase in aggression?

Are the following things occurring in your child:

Mood changes & Irritability-Emotional Skills

Inability to focus- Social Skills

Speech delays- Language & Speech Skills

Physical delays-Gross Motor Skills

These are all signs of a possible developmental or learning disorder. As parents we tend to look at our children and stipulate that nothing is wrong. We ignore the small signs and dismiss them as typical child like behaviors. The idea that our children may be delayed in a developmental aspect frightens us. I am here to clarify and debunk those beliefs.

There are warnings signs that can help parents be more aware of what is developmental appropriate and what is a sign that specialized attention is needed. In today’s society there has been many who believe that getting a child tested is inappropriate and premature. I am here to tell you it isn’t.

The most important and powerful thing you can do as a parent is observe.  Observe the way your child plays, moves, speaks, and interacts with others. Take note of different behaviors/actions you have never seen before. Research studies have confirmed that parents are reliable sources of information about their child’s development. When observing have fun with your child. Play is the best way to pinpoint if there is a need for help of any kind. When observing you child remember that children develop differently. All children hit the same developmental milestones, but they hit them at different times in their progression. NO two children will hit their milestones identically. It is important to remember not to compare your child to another. Every child is unique.

Another important step is to keep an open communication with your child’s caregiver. There are other people in your child’s life that are important factors. If your child is cared for by a relative or nanny, it is important to get their opinion. Nowadays, most families pay for a daycare or an early childhood facility. It is important to stay in communication with all the staff that comes in comes contact with your child. These individuals will be your secondary eyes on your child’s progression. Things like crawling, speaking, walking, feeding, and play interactions are items that can help support your need for specialized help. Be a good listener and acknowledge the feedback. Always keep in mind children hit their milestones at different times, so don’t stress.

When a child goes into a preschool setting, people are more steadily aware of changes and needs. In most states, the preschool divisions are called Abbott programs. These are mostly state funded preschool programs geared to helping children develop a firm foundation for their academic lives. The days normally run from 8:30am to 2:30pm. This is about a six-hour school day. It is very similar to a regular school day. These programs help children progress but equally help parents with ensuring that children are learning the basic fundamentals. Noticing children with some social/emotional delays is more readily available. Often your child’s teacher will notice the first symptoms of a specific learning disability. Parents may also notice symptoms that are different from those the teacher sees. That’s why it is so important for teachers and parents to share notes on the development of a child. When you enter a preschool setting, there are more resources available to you. There are the teachers input, assessment (ECRs, Literacy/Math, & referral), PIRT (Preschool Intervention Referral Team), family advocates, and Community & Parent Involvement Specialists.

Another important aspect is confiding in your pediatrician. Maintaining a good healthy relationship with your pediatrician is an excellent resource. Parents who are aware of developmental milestones can observe their child and inform their healthcare provider about any concerns they may have about their child’s development. Pediatric healthcare providers can provide parents with milestone checklists to track their child’s milestones at home. Healthcare professionals play a critical role in monitoring children’s development and identifying problems as early as possible.  They monitor the child’s development at each visit. At the office they may periodically screen your child with validated tools. These tools identify any areas of concern that may require a further examination or evaluation. Your healthcare professional can ensure that more comprehensive developmental evaluations are completed if risks are identified. Children aged 0-3 years can be referred to early intervention programs.

Early intervention programs are services who give specialized support to children and families in the early years (from birth to school entry). Children 3 years and older can be referred to special education services for assessment and services.

Making a decision on having your child tested is a big deal. It is a decision that will in fact change their lives. The more involved you are with your child’s progress the better you are at advocating for them. Make sure you have collected enough valid evidence. Put together all the referrals, observations, and assessments.

Re-read all the information. You are now ready to make a cautious decision whether to test your child. The more you know about the evaluations, the more prepared you’ll be to advocate for your child. You’ll also be better able to explain to your child what to expect and help them understand their own challenges. Kids develop at different paces. Your child may gain some skills later than other kids or have some skills that are advanced for their age.

 If your child isn’t meeting many of these milestones, consider speaking with your healthcare professional to seek an evaluation.This evaluation will look at his/hers skills and document the results. There are a number of ways you, your pediatrician and even his preschool can work together to help boost their skills.

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Schoolboy Q  stepped onto the red carpet at the 59th annual Grammy Awards with his daughter at his side, rocking a pink hoodie with the words “Girl Power”  across the front coordinating with his daughter who donned a pink suit. Speaking on their choice of attire, Q stated:

“I see a lot of stuff going on with women these days and I’m here to support them. I could go out and protest and all that, but me having a little girl, I think it starts right here — to let her know what’s going on, how she needs to be treated and the respect she needs to be given.”

Q was nominated for Best Rap Album for Blank Face LP and Best Rap Performance for “That Part,” featuring Kanye West.

Check out the photos with his daughter and his recent interview with Zane Lowe about fatherhood below!

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[Kids Corner] Spice On The Track

I can’t really call this young producer a kid, yeah he’s younger than I am and could be my nephew or little cousin, but he’s so much more than “just a kid.” Here at Straight Official Mag, we wanted to highlight kids 9-17 doing extraordinary things, and I can say that Spice definitely amazed me when we hopped on the phone. He was very articulate and well mannered. He kinda made me feel old. What I could sense from him was that he was a young man just looking for a shot in an industry that can be hard to so many. He amazed me with his positive attitude and readiness to succeed that I was absolutely floored. Before I knew it he was sending me music that blew me away. Not only does he rap, but he produces some of the best tracks that I have ever heard.

Tell me about yourself how did you get your stage name, where are you from, etc?

My name is Derek, but I got by SpiceOnTheTrack.  I’m a 17-year-old producer and rapper from that was born and raised in Detroit.  My original stage name was Tjdaspice and it was given to me by my mom.  Eventually, I changed my name to SpiceOnTheTrack because it sounded better to me.  I currently reside in North Carolina with my brother.

Why did you decide to become an Artist/ Entertainer?

I started making music 9 years ago because I loved how complex a production was.  I loved everything from the drums to the way that the vocals were layered.  I was never the popular kid and I was picked on when I was younger.  I wasn’t good at any sports and I wanted to have something that I was good at, so I picked music.  It came so naturally to me and I spent hours on hours watching tutorials on YouTube, learning how to make beats.

Who and/or what motivates you?

My mom lost her job 3 years ago and then she took to drugs.  The drugs changed her physically, mentally and emotionally forever.  I can’t even remember the last time she called to ask me how I was without asking me for money.  Seeing her like this destroys me on the inside and I want the best for her and for her to see me graduate high school and college, as well as see me succeed.  I want to give her the life she never had and get her the help she needs.  Also, I want to be a role model for all the kids that feel restricted because of their circumstances.  I never really had much, so to make it big and succeed would mean so much to me.  In the future, I want to build a mentoring program where I take youth in and teach them the arts, as well as give them a home and someone to look up to.  So much of our youth grow up without direction and end up another statistic.  I want to prevent that.

What would you say is your biggest accomplishment to date?

My biggest accomplishment to date is committing to play football and continue my education at Oberlin College.  Granted that I come from nothing and I chose to move to North Carolina for better opportunities, I would have never thought that I’d come this far.  I made my whole family and a huge chunk of my friends and coaches proud.  Also, my football team was TERRIBLE, so it is blessing that I was able to continue my football career onto college.

What projects are you currently working on?

Right now, I am focusing on singles and trying to perfect my song craft.  I do have a mixtape entitled “Who?” that I am working on, but I want to wait until my name gets bigger and then I will drop it.  A mixtape has a shelf life of about a couple of days and then the buzz dies unless you’re a Drake, Meek or J. Cole.  Because of this, I want to build as much buzz as possible so that the tape isn’t skipped over.

What changes would you like to see made in the music/entertainment industry?

I would like people to be more open to sharing their connections.  I also want labels to sign people based on talent and potential as opposed to someone who isn’t going to be in the game for more than a year.

What makes you different or sets you apart?

To be honest, there are millions of people who do what I do, which makes it really hard to stand out.  However, I am always focused on making the BEST product possible.  My ceiling is really high as far as my potential and I am a go getter.  I make something from nothing, completely on my own.  I walked 24 miles just to go network at a studio and then 14 miles to the mall to pass out cards with my social media info and a snippet of some of my songs.  I have spent my whole life preparing for that one moment to show people what I have got and when that time comes, I will perform better than anybody who has ever gotten that chance.  The best right now is Drake, and I plan to be better than Drake in every way, with or without help.  I have so much in store for years to come. The biggest thing for me when I make it, will be my ability to give back to those who don’t have much.  Once I make it, I will open doors for others who have never had that chance.

What crews or companies are you a part of?

I created my own label called GRIT.  It stands for GRind Invalidates Talent.  It currently consists of me and my little cousin, another aspiring artist.  I also own a clothing line called Live Life Limitless.  As far as crews, I am synonymous with Do Something Entertainment, based out of Detroit and XFMS Entertainment, also based out of Detroit.

What type of equipment do you use, what other skills/talent do you have?

I just use a Shure MXL 770 and my computer inside of my room in my apartment.  I am also learning how to mix AND master and I have been getting better at it.  People say it is professional quality that I am producing.  I do everything out of FL Studio also.  I am a self-taught piano and drum player as well.  Outside of music, I also play 4 sports for my high school in Chapel Hill.

What do you do in your free time? Any Hobbies?

I spend ALL my free time either making music or fantasizing about my moment. I also like to play basketball and meet new people.

Anything else you want to add/ Any Shoutouts? What’s your Social Media?

I want to give a HUGE shoutout to my grandmother and eldest brother.  To my eldest brother, none of this would be possible without him.  He took me into his home and assumed responsibility for me when my mom couldn’t ever since I was a baby.  He is who I live with now.  My grandma has always been my rock and she is always there when I need her.  I hope to one day show them that all their hard work has paid off dividends.  To anybody who is going to take that chance on me in the future, it’ll be the best investment you have ever made and it will pay off for years to come.  I also want to shout out my fans.  All the people who consistently listen to my music.  My career would not be possible without them.  Lastly, to Straight Official, DJ Sunflower, and Aaron from Fleet Djs for giving me this wonderful opportunity!


Soundcloud: SpiceOnTheTrack

Twitter: @deranmz

Instagram: @spiceonthetrack

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