Straight Official Magazine

In One of America’s Loneliest Cities, a Black Woman Over 40 Quietly Built a Sisterhood. Atlanta Showed Up.

In the city of Atlanta, a quiet epidemic of loneliness is taking hold. In 2024, Atlanta ranked 4th on the Chamber of Commerce’s list of loneliest cities in America. For Black women over 40 living in Atlanta, this statistic might simply confirm what they already feel. Despite all the busy activity, there is a quiet sadness that people often hide. 

Shannon Handy, @mamaauntiegrandma, felt it too. So instead of just ignoring the issue that is causing many to silently suffer, she created a space where nobody has to explain why they showed up alone. The “Us Over 40s” Friends Group is a community created exclusively for black women over 40 in Atlanta. The refreshing part is that there is no hidden agenda, just sister friends showing up for each other.

And Atlanta has shown up right back. Every event Shannon has hosted has sold out. Not once, but consistently.

For a lifestyle curator, content creator, and community builder who has spent years championing Black women through her platform Black Luxury On A Budget, it comes as no surprise. She has always known where the need was. She just decided to do something about it.

We sat down with Shannon Handy to talk about why she built it, what she is witnessing happen inside it, and where it’s headed next.

@mamaauntiegrandma We have created something very special!🤎 A friendship group for black women over 40 in Atlanta. Sis, if you're ok with possibly a little bit of cussing, some wine sipping & prayer all in one event, then let's get together! We are getting together again on Saturday November 15th from 12p-3p for a private event in Buckhead. This is our final event of the year. New things will be coming next year!🤎 A friendship group for Ladies over 40 in Atlanta. If you want to build new friendships with other likeminded women over 40 and find some new sister-friends, come hang with us. And don't worry about arriving alone… you might find your new sister-friend on the way walking in! Ladies over 40 in Atlanta If you’re looking to build new friendships and find some new sister-friends, join us. The Us Over 40s Friends Group – Atlanta.🤎 Here, we listen and we don't judge. #events #friendship #womenover40 #over50women ♬ We Are One – Maze & Frankie Beverly

Life Over 40 Is Different: Why It All Started

Why was it so important for you to create Us Over 40s?

Listen. I’m a black woman over 40, actually over 50, and I myself was in the same position. Needing sisterhood. It’s like after some of the dust settles, and we’re ”less'” in survival mode, so many of us look around and realize we’re by ourselves. And that doesn’t necessarily mean being alone or single. It’s all relative. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of us are married, building/supporting our children, families, ending or starting new careers and businesses; some of us are managing illness (family or self), addressing death and immortality, let me not get too deep.

It’s just that life over 40 is different. By then, life is usually life’ing. Responsibility is sometimes heavier. And we’re learning new ways to navigate. Through the transition, most times old friends have fallen off, for reasons or no reasons at all! We look around, and it’s just “YOU”. But it’s a newer, refreshed version of “YOU”. And once space has opened and there is room, this group is here to offer new friendships, new sisterhoods. What I call “Sister-friends.” That’s why I created The “‘Us Over 40s” Friends Group in Atlanta. I also created the group in memory of my 80-year-old mother, but that’s a longer story for another day… I don’t want to start ugly-face crying.

How has founding this group reflected your own personal journey as a woman over 40?

Founding this group has opened me up. As a direct result of this group, I have begun building and cultivating my own personal relationships with other sisters in Atlanta. I have formed some solid friendships!

Why It’s So Hard to Make Friends in Atlanta After 40

For Black women over 40 in Atlanta, the feeling of isolation does not always look like being alone. Sometimes it looks like being the busiest person in the room.

What gap did you see in the community that this group actually fills?

So many of us have become introverts, even if we’re busy! We’re uncomfortable being in social circles, and many of us don’t want to be hurt or disappointed, like we were in past relationships. When you come to our events, when you come to hang with us, we welcome you where you are and with open arms. All you’ve got to do is walk through the door, sis!

Why is community especially important for women entering their 40s and beyond?

It’s just a safe space. A safe space for us. That’s all I can say. A place where you can come and connect, decompress, learn, laugh, cry, share, jam, and party. We have so much fun. And I always try to make sure that each queen gets a hug around their neck from me. I have so many sisters wanting us to create a chapter where they are, like Houston, Chicago, LA, Jersey, Charlotte! Part of my plan for the group later this year is to branch out and take us to other cities for a one-day event. Like a mini-tour!

Proof That It’s Working, From Strangers to Sister-Friends.

What has been the most meaningful connection or story you’ve witnessed come out of these gatherings?

Oh, baybee, the group is doing what it’s meant to do! Many sisters are building their own friendships outside of the group after meeting inside the group. One of my good girlfriends from the group met up with her family member at our event after coming separately, with no idea the other would be there.

And then also, a few weeks ago at our last event, a beautiful sister from Montgomery, Alabama, found our event during a solo weekend trip to Atlanta. She connected with a few ladies at the table she was sitting at. The connection was so strong for them that she has traveled back here twice just to spend time with them!

@mamaauntiegrandma We have created something very special.🤎 A friendship group for black women over 40. Sis, if you're ok with possibly a little bit of cussing, some wine sipping & prayer all in one event, then let's get together! We are getting together again on Saturday November 15th from 12p-3p for a fun private, activity-based event. We’re gonna have a blast! 🤎 A friendship group for Ladies over 40 in Atlanta. If you want to build new friendships with other likeminded women over 40 and find some new sister-friends, come hang with us. And don't worry about arriving alone… you might find your new sister-friend on the way walking in! 🤎 Ladies over 40 in Atlanta If you’re looking to build new friendships and find some new sister-friends, join us. The Us Over 40s Friends Group – Atlanta. Here, we listen and we don't judge.🤎 Thank you once again for a beautiful time @Pinky Promise Bar Anna! Some of us ladies had a fabulous @viaraewines toast of Issa Rae’s brand! And a generous thank you to saxophonist @Jessie Boyce for taking time out of his day to support us and for jamming out! The group is expanding @Us Over 40s Friends Group Atl! #sisterhood #womenover40 #over50women #selfhealingjourney ♬ You Know How to Love Me (Long Version) – Phyllis Hyman

If You’ve Been on the Fence

What would you say to women who feel isolated or hesitant to step into a space like this?

Just step on out, sis. Park and come on in. We got the rest. We got you!

Where “Us Over 40’s” Is Headed

This group was founded exclusively for Black Women over 40 looking to build friendships and sisterhood with like-minded women. There are so many other groups out here for those who are looking to network, date, promote products, and so on. But for my sisters over 40 looking for a genuine one-on-one connection, that’s what we are all about. I believe that abundant friendships will continue to grow from the “Us Over 40s” Friends Group in Atlanta. And I hope to pass the baton on someday. 

But there is one challenge she hopes to solve. Which is finding dining and business establishments in Atlanta willing to host more events, she hopes to one day have a venue of her own where the “Us Over 40s” ladies in Atlanta can always come to. The “Us Over 40s” Friends Group is a proven, sold-out community who show up and keeps coming back. For the right business owner, opening their doors to this group is not just goodwill; it is good business.

I Showed Up and Felt It

I went into this story with curiosity and came out of it with new aunties!

Before attending one of Shannon’s events, I spent time going through her TikTok page, @mamaauntiegrandma, and even through a screen, the need was undeniable. Watching women find each other, laugh together, and exhale in a space that was built just for them, it was emotional. More emotional than I expected. Then I showed up in person to cover the event, and I felt it.

The energy in that room was something I genuinely did not anticipate. These women walked in as strangers and moved through the space like they had known each other for years. They ate, played games, and danced to good old school jams. Every smile in that room was real. Not that “politically correct, I’m being polite” kind of smile. A REAL SMILE.

I spoke to many of them about their experience, and what I kept hearing was the same thing: relief. Relief that a space like this exists. Relief that someone finally built it.

I am not over 40, but I left that event with a few new aunties and a full heart. Shannon Handy built something rare. A room with no negativity, no agenda, and no pretending. Just women who needed each other, finally in the same place at the same time. If that sounds like something you need, the door is open.

Come Find Your People

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Follow Shannon and The Us Over 40s Friends Group on TikTok: @mamaauntiegrandma